My ass is literally burning right now from heemraads and i worry all the time about genital warts, all kinds of stds you can name under the sun and more. I worry about cancers, breast, ear, spine, hip ganglion cysts, bladder and kidney and liver and the brain and skin and everywhere. fuck I hate God sometimes to be single at 50 without a child and yet a completely shy sad lonely woman on disability and I like dumb things like home decorating, music, study of all kinds, ballet and quiet times in the garden, gym. I feel so angry at my family for wrecking the nice house we had with the velvet burgundy rust look curtains and the wallpaper and it's like they raped my body and mind, raped my life career and dreams, raped or ripped out the foundations and niceness of me and my world. like fuck them off please. I need a really loving giving man who is warm and loving and not a fool.